If you are struggling with low self-esteem as a result of abuse, childhood traumas, mindset and many other factors, you have come into your safe space because, in this article, we will discuss what self-esteem is, the causes of low self-esteem and how to improve your self-esteem as a woman.
Self-esteem varies in many ways that you may not have an explanation for – some mornings you wake up feeling your best self, and then at noon, you may shrink from negative feelings of not being enough.
While others have learned how to feel even in their worst days, other women struggle to build a healthy self-esteem that guards against worst days.
On this note, it is important to identify what triggers low self-esteem and map out strategies for improving it as a woman in this evolving world.
Read on to discover cheat codes for identifying low self-esteem triggers, how low self-esteem affects your personal and interpersonal relationships, and how to improve your self-esteem as a woman.
So stick around and let’s build our self-esteem together in the next paragraphs!
Also Read: How To Improve Work Efficiency
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the total value of evaluating and rating yourself as a person.
A person with high self-esteem is highly secure and has a great sense of self-affirmation without judgment or comparison to others.
Many people are born with great self-esteem, while others struggle to develop it due to past experiences.
Studies show that self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping one’s self-image. People with healthy self-esteem are positive, and confident, and do not have room for negative thoughts.
Self-esteem and self-confidence can sometimes be confusing, however, they are different and serve different purposes. Self-esteem, as explained, refers to the extent to which you value yourself, the level of self-preservation, and the degree of self-love, while self-confidence, on the other hand, refers to the belief in your skills and abilities.
However, both of them go hand in hand to make you a wholesome, high-value person, as you can not have a high sense of self-worth without being confident in your skills and abilities, and vice versa.
Causes Of Low Self-Esteem
While many are born with a great sense of high self-esteem and self-worth, unfortunately, some do lose these feelings as they grow into adulthood, leaving them feeling empty, less confident and less about their overall self.
Here are key reasons why you lose your self-esteem or have high self-esteem:
Abuse
In no particular order, the most common cause of low self-esteem is abuse either from childhood or from peers. If you have experienced abuse in whatever form, the chances that you will feel less of yourself are high. Abuse can be sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, etc, in fact, any actions or inactions that meddle with your mental health and have a direct or indirect impact on your self-esteem can be considered abuse.
Mindset
Another cause of low self-esteem is the mindset that you will feel you are not worthy to be in certain rooms or not good enough to be loved. Once you have a negative mindset of self, it will be almost impossible to improve your self-esteem.
Life Event
A life event is also one of the causes of low self-esteem. For example, the loss of a loved one can be traumatizing in such a way that it affects your mental health which can result in negative self-esteem.
Social Standards
We live in a highly classist society; people are respected based on perceived wealth and educational standards. If you find yourself in such a society, it may affect how you mirror yourself and also in the eyes of others.
Unrealistic Goals
You need to set goals that are realistic, achievable and time-bound. You can use the popular goal-setting technique: SMART goals to set goals. Where S stands for Specific, M for measurable, A for achievable, R for realistic and T for Timebound.
How To Improve Your Self-Esteem As A Woman
If you are battling with low self-esteem, here is a self-help guide on how you can improve your self-esteem and live a happy life as a woman:
Write What You Like About Yourself
No matter how little you think about yourself. There is something unique to you that makes you stand out or loveable. Maybe it’s your smile, your walk steps or even the way you walk. There has to be something you admire about yourself that makes you feel special.
If you are yet to identify what this is, this is your cue to intentionally look out for one thing that you admire about yourself.
Another trick on how to improve your esteem as a woman is to look out for what people also admire about you. What are the things family and friends compliment the most about you. Identify these things and lay the journey of building a healthy self-esteem on this foundation.
Don’t be A People Pleaser
One of the things that will hinder your journey of improving your self-esteem is to commit to pleasing people. Identify when you are people-pleasing and when you are being dependable. While the former is about being trustworthy and dependent, the latter is about inconveniencing yourself to accommodate others.
This is a great disservice to yourself and it will do nothing but hurt your goals of improving your self-esteem.
Challenge Your Comfort Zone
Comfort zones can be mental and physical. It’s also the mental limitation you have placed on yourself. For instance, if you are given a new task at work, instead of outrightly declining it, you can accept the task and find out ways to achieve it, this way, you have challenged your status quo.
Also, a comfort zone can be a physical location that you have been used to all your life. For example, if you were born and raised in a particular region, you may condition your mind to believe that the environment is for you and that you may not succeed if you move to another location. This is a limiting mindset that you need to change if you want to succeed at improving your self-esteem.
Don’t Compare Yourself
Every one of us is unique including you; no two persons are the same not even identical twins. Hence, it is important to focus on your journey, amplify your strength and focus on improving areas of your life that need improvement based on your benchmark not another person’s own.
Learn to enjoy the moment and bask in the strength of your ability without measuring your success against another person.
Be Easy On Yourself
Maybe you have been abused in the past or suffered some childhood trauma, it is time to let go and focus on the future. You can’t change the past, however, you can control your present and orchestrate the future, This should be your focus and not getting worked up over things that happened in the past.
Set Boundaries
As a woman who is on a journey to improve her self-esteem, learning to set healthy boundaries is a must. You can’t afford to be tossed around by some random people or even family and friends. If you have dedicated time for your private moment, don’t disrespect yourself by jumping to go on a minute dinner with a friend.
Also, set healthy boundaries at work that allow you to create a work-life balance to make time to build yourself.
Celebrate Your Wins
Another powerful trick on how to improve your self-esteem as a woman is to be intentional about celebrating your wins irrespective of how small they may seem. Remember that success is what you define it to be, so every milestone crossed is a mark of success.
You just finished an online course? Let your network on LinkedIn know about it, what if you just completed a book? That’s wonderful!
How about having a sound sleep after a few months of insomnia? Celebrate it!
The cheat code is that success is a morale booster, the more you are successful at something, the more you feel motivated to try new things, and the good news? Success is entirely subjective!
Avoid Negative People
You don’t have control over people and their actions but guess what? Rather you have control over what kind of people are permitted in your space. You have to be intentional about protecting your space and peace by being selfish and very picky about the people that you keep around.
If anyone brings negative energy, instead of matching energy, quietly minus yourself from the equation to guard your peace.
Get Support
Improving your esteem as a woman may be challenging and overwhelming, however, it is not impossible. It is very doable with the right people in your corner. In the journey of improving your self-esteem, get help from trusted family and friends and even see a therapist if need be.
Conclusion
Improving your self-esteem as a woman is not a day’s job as healing from abuse, a negative mindset, traumatizing life events, social standards and setting unrealistic goals can be demanding and challenging, however, if you start writing what you like about yourself, not be a people’s please, challenge your comfort zone, go easy on yourself amongst other tips mentioned in this article, you will be unstoppable just like the popular singer; Sia said.
